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"Four" by Tom Chou
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Romantics.
Fours combine emotional intensity, sensitivity, and intuition all in one person. Romantics don't settle for the ordinary or shallow, and are disturbed that most people around them do. Fours are often painfully self-aware people, which also makes them the most interested in emotional and spiritual growth. Because of this emotional awareness, fours know how to be extremely kind (especially to those in crisis), but also know how to rile people up.
Different fours may have dramatically different outward appearances, which all come from a desire for a unique identity that sets them apart from others. Introverted fours may seem aloof and mysterious, or they may cultivate a delicate, ethereal persona. Extroverted fours may cultivate a dramatic appearance (e.g. with hairstyle, clothing, or body piercing).
Healthy fours express themselves through highly original and deeply meaningful art, whether visual, theatrical, or literary. Unhealthy fours either brood in despair, or go to the other extreme, becoming hyperactive and flamboyant to mask inner pain. Most fours have a reckless streak, which derives from moments of despair when they think "I've lost hope, so why not do something wild?" If they succumb to too many of these impulses, they may get in deep trouble, which increases their despair, leads to more reckless activity, triggering a downward spiral into more unhealthy behavior.
Fours bring their intensity to their relationships, often with dramatic results. They can touch their partner's emotions at the deepest level, but they can also cause pain at the same level. Always looking beyond the ordinary, fours are attracted to mysterious, distant partners, which may lead to push-pull relationships in which the other is pulled in, only to then become more familiar and therefore less interesting and therefore rejected. This makes them distant again and the cycle repeats. Fours do best with partners who can hold firm to the 4's roller coaster.
Famous examples: Franz Kafka, Peter Tchaikovsky, Edgar Allan Poe, Michael Jackson, Dennis Rodman.
Comparisons with other types: Fours and sevens both hate ordinariness and hence both seek adventure. But fours seek inner adventure, through emotional pleasure as well as pain, while sevens seek more worldly adventures, and pursue pleasure while avoiding pain.
Tom's site : http://www.fas.harvard.edu/~tchou/ennea_intro.html
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"Four" by Tom Condom
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Like Ones, Fours compare reality with what could be. While a One will look for imperfection about them and maybe have a desire to correct what's wrong, Fours often turn away from reality and live in their imaginations, feelings and moods.
Along with Twos and Threes, Fours share the tendency towards vanity and image-confusion but they can express it paradoxically. Fours are more likely to identify with an image of defect especially as it confers on them a quality of uniqueness or exempt specialness. A Four might, for instance, bemoan their inadequacy to succeed in the everyday world, but within this complaint there could be a subtle quality of boasting. This is usually driven by a self-image that is romantically tragic but also elitist. They may take pride in what is unique or defectively unusual about them.
Because of the strength of their emotional imaginations, people with this style are often described as artists. Many of the world's most accomplished artists have been Fours and nearly all people with this style need or find creative outlets. Otherwise, Fours work in all kinds of occupations, although they will try when possible to make their work creatively interesting.
Awakened Fours tend to be idealistic, have good taste and are great appreciators of beauty. They filter reality through a rich, subtle subjectivity and are very good at "metaphorical thinking," the capacity to make connections between unrelated facts and events. The Four tendency to see things symbolically is enhanced by their emotional intensity. This creates raw artistic material that almost has to be given form. Self-expression and the pursuit of self-knowledge are high priorities for people with this style.
Fours value the aesthetics of beauty as much as they are attuned to the tragic nature of existence. When healthy, people with this style work to transmute the pain of living into something more meaningful. This can be done through creative work of all kinds. Fours are excellent at articulating subjective experience, and can be fine teachers and psychotherapists in this regard. They may also be empathetic friends, able to take in and understand the dilemmas of others and especially be willing to listen to a friend's pain.
When more defensive or entranced, Fours begin to focus on what is unavailable or missing in their lives. They can become negative and critical, finding fault with what they do have, seeing mainly misery in the present. They then turn inward and use their imaginations to romanticize other times and places. Fours can live in the past, the future - anywhere that seems more appealing than here. "The grass is always greener on the other side." Entranced Fours fall into a habit of envy for whatever it is they don't have now.
The need to be seen as someone special and unique may become more neurotically pronounced too. Fours can seem very in touch with their feelings but their defensive tendency is to translate authentic feeling into melodrama. They could be full of lament and nostalgia, demanding recognition yet rejecting anything good they get from friends. They might also grow competitive and spiteful, unable to enjoy their own successes without taking away from the achievements of others.
An entranced Four could be moody or hypersensitive while beginning to act exempt from everyday rules. Buoyed by their sense of defective specialness, they might give themselves permission to act badly, be selfish or irresponsible. They may refuse to deal with the mundane and the ordinary, reasoning that they are different and not of this world anyway. Entranced Fours incline towards feeling guilty, ashamed, melancholy, jealous and unworthy.
Deeply entranced Fours can inhabit a harrowing world of torment. They may be openly masochistic and extravagant in their self-debasement. The lives of spectacularly self-destructive artists often reflect this kind of scenario.
At this point, a Four could become unreachably alienated. Stricken by a profound sense of hopelessness, they can sink into morbid self-loathing and suicidal depression. Their 'differentness' is now seen in entirely negative terms and they banish themselves into a kind of exile. The desire to punish themselves and others is also quite strong.
Fours have a specific defense that comes up a lot in movies, especially love stories. It's called "introjection," and it means carrying someone around inside of you in your imagination and feelings. A Four will introject a loved one, usually someone idealized and out of reach. Their beloved is romanticized from afar but the Four feels the absent person to be present. They then have a kind of relationship with their fantasy of the other person.
FAMOUS FOURS
Photographer Diane Arbus, Painter Francis Bacon, John Barrymore, Charles Baudelaire, Ingmar Bergman, Poet John Berryman, Director Peter Bogdanovich, Marlon Brando, Richard Brautigan, Jackson Browne, Raymond Burr, Singer Kate Bush, Mary Chapin Carpenter, England's Prince Charles, Kurt Cobain, Leonard Cohen, Judy Collins, James Dean, Director Brian De Palma, Johnny Depp, Neil Diamond, Isak Dinesen, Novelist Michael Dorris, French novelist Marguerite Duras, the music of Pink Floyd, the cultural aura of France, Judy Garland, Martha Graham, Singer Nanci Griffith, Billie Holliday, Julio Iglesias,
Michael Jackson, Janis Joplin, Naomi Judd, Harvey Keitel, Jack Kerouac, Jessica Lange, Poet Philip Larkin, Charles Laughton, T.E. Lawrence, John Malkovich, Marcello Mastroianni, Author Mary McCarthy, Carson McCullers, Rod McKuen, Thomas Merton, Author Yukio Mishima, Joni Mitchell, Actor Michael Moriarty, Jim Morrison, Singer Morrissey, Edvard Munch, Liam Neeson, Mike Nichols, Stevie Nicks, Author Anaïs Nin, Nick Nolte, Laurence Olivier, Edith Piaf, Sylvia Plath, Edgar Allen Poe, Novelist Anne Rice, Arthur Rimbaud,
Françoise Sagan, Poet Anne Sexton, Percy Shelley, Simone Signoret, Singer Paul Simon, August Strindberg, Edna St. Vincent Millay, Singer James Taylor, Spencer Tracy, Actress Liv Ullmann, Vincent Van Gogh, Suzanne Vega, Author Robert James Waller, Alan Watts, Orson Welles, Australian novelist Patrick White, Tennessee Williams, Virginia Woolf, Neil Young.
Four With a 3 Wing
Fours with a 3 wing can sometimes seem like Sevens. May be outgoing, have a sense of humor and style. Prize being both creative and effective in the world. Both intuitive and ambitious; may have good imaginations, often talented. Some are colorful, fancy dressers, make a distinct impression. Self-knowledge combines well with social and organizational skills. When more entranced, often have a public/private split. Could conceal feelings in public then go home to loneliness. Or they could enjoy their work and be dissatisfied in love. Tendency towards melodrama and flamboyance; true feelings can often be hidden. Competitive, sneaky, aware of how they look. Some have bad taste. May be fickle in love, drawn to romantic images that they have projected onto others. Could have a dull spouse, then fantasize about glamorous strangers. Achievements can be tainted by jealousy, revenge, or a desire to prove the crowd wrong.
Four With a 5 Wing
Healthy side of this wing brings a withdrawn, complex creativity. May be somewhat intellectual but have exceptional depth of feeling and insight. Very much their own person; original and idiosyncratic. Have a spiritual and aesthetic openness. Will find multiple levels of meaning to most events. May have a strong need and ability to pour themselves into artistic creations. Loners; can seem enigmatic and hard to read. Externally reserved and internally resonant. When they open up it can be sudden and total. When entranced or defensive, Fours with a 5 wing can easily feel alienated and depressed. Many have a sense of not belonging, of being from another planet. Can get lost in their own process, drown in their own ocean. Whiny - tend to ruminate and relive past experience. Prone to the emotion of shame. Air of sullen, withdrawn disappointment. May live within a private mythology of pain and loss. Can get deeply morbid and fall in love with death.
Instinctual Variants by Thomas Condon - The Changeworks
Self-Preservation
People with this theme are often advocates of risk. Can be reckless, court disaster or just flirt lightly with loss. Take chances to stir up emotional intensity, play out melodrama or to get attention. Can have a desire to punish other through hurting themselves. The logic is, "If I die then they'll be sorry and finally appreciate me." Can seem like counterphobic Sixes in their behavior. With a 3 wing this subtype is more flamboyant and makes a show of their daring. With a 5 wing they grow more sullen and self-punishing.
Intimate
Fours with this theme tend to be highly competitive in close relationships but also more generally. With a mate they are prone to jealousy. Want to be the most important person in mate's life. Could be jealous of a partner's past relationships, maybe want to be the only person the partner has ever loved. Related to the dependent side of 2. More broadly can be consumed by professional envy. Long to best others in their work. Can jealously measure their contributions. Petty about keeping score. Want recognition for their uniqueness. Take away from successes of others when threatened.
Social
Prone to shame because they compare themselves with the "normal" world around them. Can be highly self-critical and feel ashamed for their deviance from imagined group norms. Sensitive to criticism. May romanticize their defects but feel bad about themselves anyway. If they have a 3 wing, may cover their shame with charm. Can also seek status or be driven to achieve to get revenge against those who once laughed at them. With a 5 wing, can grow antisocial and depressed, bearing their shame in solitude.
"It is best never to have been born. But who among us has such luck? One in a million, perhaps." - Alfred Polgar
"Dying is an art, like everything else.
I do it exceptionally well." - Sylvia Plath, "Lady Lazarus,"
"That it will never come again
Is what makes life so sweet." - Emily Dickinson
"It is better to drink of deep griefs than to taste shallow pleasures." - William Hazlitt
"Envy is a littleness of soul, which cannot see beyond a certain point, and if it does not occupy the whole space feels itself excluded." - William Hazlitt
"For the world, I count it not an inn, but an hospital; and a place not to live in, but to die in." - Sir Thomas Browne
"The beautiful bird gets caged." - Chinese proverb
"'To the discontented no chair is easy." - Benjamin Franklin
"Seldom is a Gothic head more beautiful than when broken." - Andre Malraux
"Nothing is so costly as the pursuit of a cure for imaginary ills." - Francois de Fenelon
"Nothing blocks happiness like happiness remembered." - Andre Gide
"The satisfied, the happy, do not live; they fall asleep in habit, near neighbor to annihilation." - Miguel de Unamuno
"Talent is often a defect of character." - Karl Kraus
"We're all sentenced to solitary confinement inside our own skins-for life." - Tennessee Williams
Tom Condom's site :http://www.thechangeworks.com/
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"Four" by MaryBast
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The Innovator
Gil Gamble was being groomed to take over the top Finance job for an international company. Because his company's position was slipping in their industry, the importance of strategic thinking and innovative problem-solving had been particularly emphasized as criteria for promotion, and he fit the bill.
Charming and interpersonally skilled, Gil didn't at all match the stereotype of a "bean-counter." But that very fact -- his difference from others in the organization -- had caused him some pain. He often dreamed of an organization that was less mundane.
In spite of his interpersonal skills, Gil hadn't built sufficient back-up strength within his team. He had great ideas about how to make his ordinary organization extraordinary, but when he tried to get buy-in to his ideas he kept running into roadblocks.
For one thing, most of his peers were more tradition-bound and he had to work to overcome their resistance to doing something new.
In addition, while his own staff members bought into his vision, he had trouble getting his ideas across to them in a way they could implement. An assessment revealed that their conceptual style was more concrete than his, as measured by the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI).
Gil's development work changed his communication style, but also gave him a fresh look at how his focus on innovation had a down side -- it kept him dissatisfied with the status quo and sometimes forced unnecessary change.
Typical Comments:
"People call me because they know I'll come at things from a totally different angle."
"I buy into the 'vale of tears' theory of life."
"I seem to feel things more deeply than others."
"I always felt like an outsider as a child."
Description:
Innovators are vital to the health of an organization because they are able to view things from a new slant and are not bound by tradition; they can keep an organization from slowly dying out of untested and outdated assumptions.
More in touch with their feelings than other types, they are in danger of sinking into moodiness if they meet with resistance to their ideas. The same talent that allows Fours to "look outside the box" can lead them to wonder why they never see things the way others do, and subsequently to question if they are flawed--their conversation is ripe with sad stories. Their driving force is envy, which shows up in dissatisfaction, a perception that "the grass is always greener somewhere else."
Developmental skills include focusing more on strengths and resources and less on the "tragedy" of life, learning to develop the possibilities of their current jobs, shifting their moods through physical exercise or creative outlets, reframing self-criticism in more positive ways, and championing a program or process they believe in. A key development need is equanimity, the ability to live fully in the present moment.
EXECUTIVE DEVELOPMENT PLAN
for Terry Crane -- Type Four
Note to the Reader: What follows is a composite development plan created for a typical Type Four executive. While "Terry" is unique in many ways, he also clearly illustrates how some Four dynamics play out in the workplace. As you read through this plan, begin to formulate what you would suggest as developmental actions for Terry and for Fours in general. Then compare your ideas against his actual development work.
I. CONCEPTUAL STYLE
Found in only one percent of the population, INTPs (Introverted Thinking with Intuition) on the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) are extremely precise in their thoughts and their language. They are referred to as "architects" of ideas and systems. Somewhat quiet and reserved (due to their introversion), they can become absorbed with ideas to the exclusion of external circumstances. As "thinking" types, they are logical, analytical, rational, curious, theoretical, abstract, principled, and objectively critical executives. They tend not to give much credence to authority based on position -- they prefer relationships based on expertise. Particularly if they are very bright, they can be intellectual snobs, becoming impatient with others who seem less principled and/or who are not as intelligent. This attitude may generate hostility and defensiveness in others, who often describe INTPs as "arrogant". As managers they prefer to have other independent types working for them, since they interact more at an intellectual than an emotional level. They tend to reward employees who are self-determined and independent. Excellent at identifying problems, INTPs find it more difficult to express appreciation. Because they rely on logic, their own feelings may well up and be expressed in inappropriate ways. (See Myers, Introduction to Type; Hirsh & Kummerow, Introduction to Type in Organizations; and Keirsey & Bates, Please Understand Me.)
II. PERSONALITY TYPE
Fours on the Enneagram are creative and individualistic leaders who often seem themselves as unique in a mundane organizational setting -- the shadow side of this characteristic, however, is a constant, low-level self-questioning ("Is there something wrong with me? Why don't I fit in?"). Fours try to understand themselves by focusing on their feelings -- when their ability to get in touch with their true feelings is underdeveloped they can become withdrawn and negative. The same talent that allows them to see things "outside the box" (and thus to be innovative organizationally) leads them to wonder why they never see things the way others do, and subsequently to question their own reality. Thus, instead of tenaciously championing their ideas, they often lose steam when they meet with the typical sources of organizational resistance. Because of their ability to see "how things could be," Fours may fall victim to "the grass is always greener" phenomenon; this shows up in fantasizing about others jobs and/or other companies, instead of dealing with current issues. They are also prone to envy, fueled by the belief that others somehow enjoy satisfactions they are denied. At the same time, they tend to keep life (and intimacy) at arm's length, because being happy might threaten their intense emotional world. Worse, they might have to settle for an "ordinary" life! (See Condon, The Enneagram Movie & Video Guide; Keys, Emotions and the Enneagram; Palmer, The Enneagram in Love & Work; and Riso/Hudson, Personality Types.)
III. KEY STRENGTHS
Sources of input to your development plan, Terry, see you as very, very bright -- with a logical yet creative thinking style. You are comfortable doing things differently (vs. "off-the-shelf" approaches). Described as a good problem-solver -- who is also very thorough at strategizing, planning, prioritizing, decision making, and implementing -- you seem to prefer the big picture to the "nitty-gritty", yet you get things done. Though you are direct, honest, and will say what is on your mind, you are generally "nonadversarial" in your approach to solving problems, and you are "great" with customers. Taken together with you notably high standards, these characteristics put you "in front of the pack" (see exceptions noted below).
You are naturally eloquent and give outstanding presentations. You were described as being well prepared, self-assured, multifaceted, and articulate -- you speak "with knowledge and authority." In addition, your style is convincing -- you speak seriously but with influence. In a group setting you are skilled at drawing people out when they are not participating.
Personally, you show "serious fiber" -- honesty, integrity, and quality -- and with a dry sense of humor. You also appear to be driven to succeed, "always wanting to be on point," "always the mouthpiece." You act as a beacon for others through your passion for excellence, and you get "exciting" results. Enhanced by your technical knowledge and hands-on experience, these qualities make you a real asset to your company.
IV. DEVELOPMENT OPPORTUNITIES
Others have complimented you on your response to recent feedback, noting that there are fewer disagreements, fewer mood swings, and "no explosions". The comments below describe your behavior prior to these changes and are meant to serve as a reminder rather than a reflection of your current state.
Management
Those outside your functional area note that people who work for you have the authority to do their jobs. Your direct reports have confirmed this, and even suggest that this has been true to a fault (for example, in the past you have at times forgotten to call in or to update them when you have been away from the office). They have described you as acting "close to the cuff," which is further reflected in the observation that people at lower organizational levels don't really know you. They requested that you share more information and knowledge about upper-management decisions, and that you involve people more in decisions affecting them. In addition, they want you to be more open to their opinions -- in the past you have not always probed for their viewpoint or gotten enough data before you jumped to decisions and actions.
Interpersonal Style
It appears that the combination of your eloquent, articulate style, along with your ability to be blunt, can make you seem somewhat arrogant, or even rude. This ranges from, "There is sometimes a contrived quality," to "People don't always understand what he is saying but are embarrassed to ask questions," to "Perhaps he is unaware that he's talking down to people," to "He seems to think he's better in some way," to "If he doesn't respect what you say he can blow your doors off real quick and not really mean it." That you are direct and not manipulative is to your credit, Terry, but you could be more user-friendly. You need to learn when not to be blunt (in the past, some of your internal contacts have avoided answering your calls). To be fair, it is clear that you have been under great pressure to get results and that you've succeeded in spite of not always getting the support you needed. Nonetheless, you have been described as having "an intolerance for imperfection" and occasionally "coming unglued."
Personal Style
There were a number of comments, Terry, that are consistent with your Enneagram Four personality style. You were actually described by one individual as "always an outsider" because you come from a different functional area of expertise. It appears, though, that you contribute to this distance: "He keeps people somewhere outside -- though some are closer than others." You convey the impression that you would rather be somewhere else: "He has a good job with a good future, but I don't think he's satisfied." Furthermore, you tend to focus on how things could be to the exclusion of appreciating what is. "One definition of stress," commented an observer, "is the gap between expectations and reality, and Terry has high expectations." (This has a plus side, of course, as indicated by another person who said, "He is relentless, idealistic, and enthusiastic about what he believes in -- he wants to do what's right.") Finally, your "moodiness" has been seen as a problem: "What may be a big problem to him may seem minor to others." "He has these personality swings and I wonder if it's something I've done."
MaryBast's site :http://ww4.choice.net/~marybast/index.htm
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"Four" by Don Riso
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The Sensitive, Withdrawn Type: Intuitive, Expressive, Self-Absorbed, and Depressive
Basic Fear: That they have no identity or personal significance
Basic Desire: To find themselves and their significance (to create an identity)
The Four with a Three-Wing: "The Aristocrat"
The Four with a Five-Wing: "The Bohemian"
Potential Neuroses: Avoidant, Depressive, and Narcissistic Personality Disorders
Key Motivations: Want to express themselves and their individuality, to create and surround themselves with beauty, to maintain certain moods and feelings, to withdraw to protect their self-image, to take care of emotional needs before attending to anything else, to attract a "rescuer".
Healthy
Self-aware, introspective, on the "search for self," aware of feelings and inner impulses. Sensitive and intuitive both to self and others: gentle, tactful, compassionate. Highly personal, individualistic, "true to self." Self-revealing, emotionally honest, humane. Ironic view of self and life: can be serious and funny, vulnerable and emotionally strong. At Their Best: Profoundly creative, expressing the personal and the universal, possibly in a work of art. Inspired, self-renewing and regeneratingable to transform all their experiences into something valuable: self-creative.
Average
Take an artistic, romantic orientation to life, creating a beautiful, aesthetic environment to cultivate and prolong personal feelings. Heighten reality through fantasy, passionate feelings, and the imagination. To stay in touch with feelings, they interiorize everything, taking everything personally, but become self-absorbed and introverted, moody and hypersensitive, shy and self-conscious, unable to be spontaneous or to "get out of themselves." Stay withdrawn to protect their self-image and to buy time to sort out feelings. Gradually think that they are different from others, and feel that they are exempt from living as everyone else does. They become melancholy dreamers, disdainful, decadent, and sensual, living in a fantasy world. Self-pity and envy of others leads to self-indulgence, and to becoming increasingly impractical, unproductive, effete, and precious.
Unhealthy
When dreams fail, become self-inhibiting and angry at self, depressed and alienated from self and others, blocked and emotionally paralyzed. Ashamed of self, fatigued and unable to function. Tormented by delusional self-contempt, self-reproaches, self-hatred, and morbid thoughts: everything is a source of torment. Blaming others, they drive away anyone who tries to help them. Despairing, feel hopeless and become self-destructive, possibly abusing alcohol or drugs to escape. In the extreme: emotional breakdown or suicide is likely.
Don Riso's site :http://www.enneagraminstitute.com/
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"Four" by C.Thomson
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The Long Suffering
The last of the types in the "heart" or "emotional" center is the type Four. Fours share some of the emotional trappings of the two and three in that they tend to be enormously influenced by the others in their life. All three lack a certain inner density so that they are not sure of who they are and they tend to confuse seeming with being. They pay too much attention to what others think of them and they tend to interiorize in one way or another the opinions of others about themselves. Twos do it by emotionally investing in others by helping, threes do it by performing for others.
Now we come to the Fours and they have a negative relationship to others. They take pride in being different, especially being defective. All the while they lament their lot in life, you can hear a faint bragging. "I have been singled out by ________ (fate, God, the Universe, name your deity) to suffer. And my suffering makes me special. Nobody knows the trouble I've seen, and nobody appreciates how I've handled it, absorbed its bitter dregs and these dregs have become medicine. Neitsche said, "What does not kill me strengthens me." Fours know that, often smugly, as if they are entranced. Their traditional sin is envy. On a superficial level, one might ask, "Why commit such a painful sin?" Pride looks like fun at times (Two) and Deceit has its rewards, especially in a context of high performance with the applause in the background. But envy?
Two responses are important. First, most sins are not enjoyable. They are experiences of powerlessness. St. Paul said, "The good that I want to do, I don't do and the evil I don't want, that I do." To the point here is that Fours make envy pay off.
One payoff comes in their speech pattern of lamentation. Listen to an entranced Four for a while and you hear this dramatic recital of how difficult her life is (especially compared to your own ordinary white- bread existence). The drama's the thing . Fours have a keen sense of drama, their esthetic sense is highly developed whether they are healthy or not. So their lamentations are dramatic presentations of an important moment or experience in the life of an important person. Envy is really their ticket to esteem. They esteem themselves and expect esteem from others precisely because of their suffering. This also frequently creates a disdain for the ordinary. Many fours have real trouble with the nitty gritty of life. One Four friend of mine always talks with terror about "logistics," getting him and his stuff from her to there on time and in one piece.
This is coupled with a vivid inner life. I had a sensitive Four confide in me that he often couldn't hear what important people in his life said to him because he was paying so much attention to his inner feelings.
Illustrations:
Watch the new movie, Heavenly Creatures, and you will see a lot of these dynamics acted out vividly. It's a complex and rewarding movie. Watch for the following. Notice the two girls (both are 4's, Paula has a 5 wing and Gina has a 3 wing) start their friendship in earnest by comparing illnesses and then declare themselves special because of their flaws. Within the Four trance, that makes perfect sense.
Notice their inner imaginative life is so powerful they can't distinguish it from outer reality and they end up imposing fantasy on reality with real consequences. The life of the imagination takes emotional precedence over family, school, morality --everything. (They are both probably self-preservation sub types; but they are different because of their wings. The three wing of Gina makes her more outgoing and accomplished. The five wing of Paula tends to make her appear more sullen and introverted). They are both rather unhealthy and display some of the entitlement attitude often prominent in unhealthy fours. The envy shows up in the anger against the parents. The parents, regardless of what they have done for them, haven't given them the only important thing - the chance to be together. So they focus on what is not there and get angrier about it as time goes on. Fours have a tendency to compare what is with what is missing and then spend a lot of emotional energy lamenting absence.
For a nice contrast between a little healthier four and a light- hearted (and selfish) Seven, see Meryl Streep in Out of Africa. Redford is the Seven she loves even though he is absent most of the time (a typical snare for some Fours) and she loves being tragically beautiful. And beautifully tragic. You can feel the violins coming from afar. She is a dauntless Four, taking chances in the real world to prove an emotional inner world point. If you like her Fourness (she is a One in real life with an apparent strong feeling for her Four connection), then watch her really dramatize it in The French Lieutenant's Woman.
If your tastes are really elevated, here's a self-revealing poem by Shakespeare who was mostly likely a Four. Notice the abandonment, the envy of everyone and then notice he takes consolation in the memory of love, not in the love itself.
When in disgrace with Fortune and men's eyes
I all alone beweep my outcast state
I trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries
and look upon myself and curse my fate. (There's the lament).
Featured like him, like him with friends possess'd,
Desiring this man's art and that man's scope,
With what I most enjoy contented least (Now the envy)
Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,
Haply I think on thee, and then my state,
Like to the lark at break of day arising
From sullen earth, sings hymns at heaven's gate,
For they sweet love remember'd such wealth brings
That then I scorn to change my state with kings.
(Notice the entire poem describes a succession of inner states. He internally generates the lament, he creates the envy and he solves it by remembering. He never ventures outside).
The Book of Jonah is a brief biting satire on the sense of entitlement some of the Jewish people had developed. (Jewish culture has a strong Fourish flavor: a sense of entitlement, a large of body of lamentation psalms and a tradition of being special as the chosen people.) I was at a conference and this Jewish lady exclaimed, "Oh, I'm a Four and I'm Jewish, I'm special no matter how you look at it!) When you read the book of Jonah, notice how bad everything Jewish looks and how wonderful everyone in Nineveh from the King down to the cattle behaves (even the cows fast!). Only one Jew could satirize the other Jews with this kind of biting detail. It's funny, it's brilliant and it is an attack on unhealthy attachment to privilege. The Hebrew scriptures are unique among sacred literature for their ability to be self-critical and this is a superb example.
Exercises:
1) Read a good sophisticated commentary on the Book of Jonah. Tom Condon has a video in which he interviews a Four. If you're a therapist or a Four, I strongly recommend it. ( The Dynamic Enneagram, specify strategy #4) Notice when you watch how articulate a Four is about her inner life. You get a strong sense of how the Four rejects others in the name of feeling rejected by them. That's how envy does it.
2) Read Madame Bovary. Fourishness is on every page. Marianne in Sense and Sensibility is also a clear four. If you're really serious, here's what Brenda Reed, one of my enneagram educator authors recommends: After reading the book once, go back and read it again with everything except your character in the background and read her lines in the foreground. She says you get a wonderful sense of the integrity of the character. Try it with Jane Austen. I think Bovary would overwhelm you after while!
3) Notice that most male gay stereotypes are Fourish. Reality is different, but in pop culture, (like Robin Williams' partner in Birdcage) gay males play fours.
4) If you are a Four, read and record 45 minutes of Lamentation psalms and then play them back. Can you feel the excess?
5) If you are a Four, I recommend David Reynolds' work. Constructive living was invented to deal with Fourishness in Japan. Reynolds is a no-nonsense One and he'll seem heartless to you, but I have it on good authority from several Fours that it really helped them. Try Thirsty in the Lake, Swimming or anything, really, by Reynolds on Constructive Living. One piece of good general advice for Fours is to make sure you get plenty of physical exercise. It puts you in better contact with external reality.
Discussion Questions:
1) Why do you suppose France is considered a Fourish culture?
2) Why do you think physical exercise is recommended so strongly for fours?
3) Analyze the last few paragraphs of Jonah. Why is compassion opposed to envy?
4) What would good and bad work situations for Fours look like? (Michael Goldberg's new enneagram and business book, Getting Your Boss's Number is good on these.
5) Contrast bread and pizza. Why can you eat bread more often. Why might Fours be like pizza?
6) If you are a Four, do some shopping at Walmart, regardless of what you can afford. How does it feel? Who shops there? Why? Why don't you?
7) List five good reasons to stay entranced as a Four. (You can't let go of a trance until you can get some of its goodies in other ways...)
8) When does your style work the best for you? The worst?
C.Thomson's site : http://www.enneagramcentral.com/
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"Four" by J.Wagner
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Personality Style Four: The Original Person
Core Value Tendency: FOURS are attracted to and value originality, authenticity, individuality, and artistic expression. They desire to be sensitive, refined persons, seeking to make the world more beautiful. They value the inner journey and are on the quest for the Holy Grail, their real self. Honoring your uniqueness and deeply connecting to others and to the world is what life is all about.
Adaptive Cognitive Schema: The objective vision that keeps FOURS aligned with their true nature and with reality is the realization that they are already original. They already are in possession of what they are searching for. The treasure is buried in the field of their inner self. They are already connected to their source, the ground of their being and so are already connected to their real self and to the real selves of others. They realize they belong in this world and are not missing anything essential.
Adaptive Emotional Schema: The state that accompanies the FOURS' objective paradigm is equanimity, the experience of inner balance and outer harmony. A person in the state of equanimity feels complete and fulfilled in the present moment. Each moment they have everything they need to be perfectly happy. Events are responded to in a realistic appropriate manner without exaggeration or dramatization.
Adaptive Behavioral Schemas: The attitudes and actions that flow from an acceptance of one's authentic inner nature and from a state of equanimity are an exquisite sensitivity, appreciation and respect for all that is. FOURS have an intuitive aesthetic sense and an innate sense for quality; that is, they have good taste and class. Their sensibilities put them in touch with their own and others' moods, being especially attuned to pain and suffering. FOURS have a highly active imagination and fantasy life. They are romantic, nostalgic, and poetic. FOURS like to ritualize human experiences, making the ordinary extraordinary and the extraordinary ordinary. They can see the universe in a grain of sand and can turn a grain of sand into a pearl. FOURS easily attune themselves to the mood and spirit of their surroundings.
Maladaptive Cognitive Schema: When FOURS exaggerate their sensitive qualities and uniqueness, they over-identify with the idealized self image of I am special and unique. To compensate for a maladaptive belief that they are defective and faulty, and to prevent themselves from being abandoned, they seek to be special. To survive they believe they must be highly individual and make a lasting impression on people so they won't be forgotten. They believe they must outclass their opponents. Their habit of attention goes to what is missing instead of to what is there.
Maladaptive Emotional Schema: Constantly comparing themselves to others and consistently coming up short, FOURS experience the passion of envy. Others appear to have what they are missing: spontaneity, relationships, happiness, etc. FOURS feel melancholy, apart from the main, misunderstood. Their suffering makes them special
Maladaptive Behavioral Schema: Perceiving the world as abandoning, and feeling envious of others' qualities and possessions, FOURS are driven to make themselves special and uncommon. They become dramatic, moody, misunderstood, tragic romantics, pushing themselves to live at the edges of experience. Fantasies become more satisfying than real life. Relationships are passionately engaged in and just as intensely pushed away. Seeking connections, FOURS fear abandonment, and become aloof and feel alienated.
What is Avoided: Because they want to be special, FOURS avoid being ordinary. Being common, just like everyone else, is the worst thing FOURS can imagine. Living within the middle range of experience, without extreme highs and lows, is boring and deadening.
Defensive Maneuvers: FOURS steer away from being ordinary through uncommon experiences and expressions. No one feels as deeply as they do, no one experiences life in the same way they do. Mere words are not enough to express their responses; they need poetry, music, dance, painting, some kind of artistic sublimation to capture their experience.
Childhood Development: FOURS often felt abandoned or unwanted by a parent or caretaker. They believed this was because there was something wrong with them or they weren't good enough. So they tried to make themselves into special persons that would be noticed and not left behind. If they made a strong emotional impact, others wouldn't leave them. FOURS thought of themselves as living at the extremes, at the edges, instead of in the middle with everyone else. Very early on they felt different from others, as though they were delivered to the wrong planet.
Non-Resourceful State: When FOURS are under stress, they do more of the same, that is, they exaggerate their moods, feel more misunderstood and hurt, and become aristocrats in exile. They turn their anger on themselves and get more depressed. FOURS get stuck in their feelings instead of letting them energize them into constructive action. Denying their own needs and helping others instead of dealing with their own pain, they become suffering servants.
Resourceful State: When FOURS are in a resourceful relaxed state, they seek and find wholeness within them. They get connected to their real feelings vs abandoning themselves then looking for fulfillment from someone else. They stay in the present and realize that right now they have all they need to be perfectly happy. They aren't missing anything. They re-own their goodness. Taking an action oriented, problem-centered approach, they stay with the facts and don't exaggerate their emotional response or amplify the stimuli. They maintain their equanimity. They believe they are already original, connected, and belong. They understand they are home and already have what they are looking for. I am and so I am both unique and universal replaces I am special therefore I am somebody.
J.Wagner's site : http://www.enneagramspectrum.com/
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"Five" by Don Fowke
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No one Enneagram scholar can escape his or her own particular habit of attention, so each offers insight from a particularly well honed attentional pattern. Accordingly, as an Enneagram One I can assure you that what is presented here is correct and right and free from error. Beyond that, it is true that various written descriptions of type and process do reflect the bias and the underlying theory of the writer.
Among Enneagram authors, labels differ and there are more or less minor differences in details. Perhaps the greatest differences lie in the concepts of what change and growth mean for the individual. Palmer, for example, differentiates between the study of outer aspects and inner aspects of type:
"The outer study of the system highlights what the nine types think and feel, how they relate to one another, and what can help them flourish and grow. This level offers fundamental insight into ourselves and our relationships. But the Enneagram's deeper power lies in the ways that type is linked to aspects of human essence. Our essence is the permanent element of being. An awareness of essence has also been called higher consciousness, or spiritual attainment."
"These gifts of the spirit appear when awareness is shifted beyond the boundaries of thought and feeling. They cannot be grasped by analysis or emotion because they are not of the same order of consciousness as psychological traits. There is, of course, a natural tendency to confuse aspects of essence with mature psychological functioning, because to describe essence at all, we have to name its many activities with words that describe ordinary events."
At the other end of the scale, Don Richard Riso focuses attention on relative psychological health, "...people fluctuate among the healthy, average and unhealthy traits that make up the personality type." For Riso, the range of possibility lies within the psychological realm and marks a more or less continuous spectrum from personality disorder at one end to complete mental health at the other. For Enneagram Four this range is the self-destructive person, the emotionally tormented person, the alienated depressive, the self-indulgent aesthete, the self-absorbed introvert, the imaginative artist, the self-revealing individual, the self-aware intuitive, the inspired creator.
Palmer's focus on higher awareness and Riso's on psychological health are really two different paradigms. In our work with management, we are dealing primarily with high functioning, relatively psychologically healthy individuals. Their need is for self awareness in aid of more personal flexibility, less tunnel vision and a greater ability to alter behavior to fit the situation. They also need understanding of attentional differences in a way that enhances communication. This means listening tuned to where the other person is coming from. It also means speaking tuned to what the other will hear that, for example, emphasizes thought for the Enneagram Five and feeling for the Enneagram Four. What managers need is a technology -- a practical art -- of human nature.
Enneagram Four is rare at the top of an organization, not many aspire to or achieve such positions. But where they do they are spectacular. They have powerful, emotionally charged charisma, they develop and lead value based and value-propelled organizations, and they are entrepreneurs who strive for dramatic change and innovation.
As Kathleen Hurly and Theodorre Donson describe it:
"Individualists have clear values and standards, and they attempt to refashion the world by imposing their own design on it. They find drastic change exciting -- the kind of change that wipes the slate clean and sets the stage for a new beginning. With it comes hope for improving the quality of life, hope for a better world. Individualists appreciate the new and unusual and are often attracted to people, styles, and experiences that others would consider offbeat."
Marcus Becker reports that Enneagram Four is about three times as likely to be a woman as a man. Given the continued preponderance of men in top executive positions, the scarcity of Enneagram Four is understandable. Our work with the Young Presidents' Organization suggests the top job in North American companies is most likely to be held by an Enneagram Three, Eight, Seven or Five. We have seen presidents at all stations of the Enneagram, but these four points dominate the population. It is interesting to speculate about how the corporate world might change as women and Enneagram Fours become more common. Entrepreneurial creativity, drama, an emphasis on relationships and values, and a valuing of feelings would come to shape the organizational culture.
There would be big changes in the business world. I can't help but think that the imaginative creativity of the Enneagram Four is precisely what is needed to make human the pall mall pace of technology. One Enneagram Four CEO I know, dividing up the assets in a business split, took the art and let the other guy take the furniture and equipment.
And if we think that this might lead to a warm and fuzzy, feel good wishy washy culture, we need to take another look at Enneagram Four. The Enneagram Four culture would have a "we are special" flavor, and a competitive drive propelled by envy and a conviction of uniqueness, with an inside track on values, and the energy of hate. Ferocious comes to mind.
Enneagram Four also shows up in the management consulting profession as experts in strategic planning, a place where the yearning for a different reality focuses imagination and analysis on creative alternatives.
In management, therefore, the goal for the Enneagram Four is to exploit the inherent strengths that this point of view supports, to become aware of the weaknesses it harbors, and to develop the flexibility to shift away from unconscious and unaware patterns of thought and feeling.
From this vantage point, the essential aspects of Enneagram Four are the following.
Palmer describes a worldview where, "Something is missing, Others have it. I have been abandoned."
"Melancholy is a reminder that something is missing; it's a sweet sadness based on the perception of loss. From the spiritual perspective, the child lost connection with essence, or true being, when attention turned to matters of survival. Unsupported by the original source, the child became acutely sensitive to human abandonment and the loss of significant people. The longing for authentic bonds of connection swamps emotional equanimity in the pitch and roll of dramatic moods. Envy is a reminder that others seem to enjoy the happiness the Four has been denied. A Four's search for authentic moments of connection mimics an ongoing awareness of essence. The search is motivated by the conviction that there is more than ordinary life. We would not be seeking if we were complete."
Maria Beesing argues that motivation, not behavior, defines Enneagram Four:
"There are many misconceptions about Fours. These evolve from the erroneous theory that all Fours are alike, and from the all-too-common mistake of using behavior instead of motivation to identify individuals. While most Fours are intuitive introverts, there are also many extroverts and sensates. Fours are quiet and effervescent, shy and strident, timid and bold, creative and powerful. There is no correct or patent image for the wholesome Four. Rather, there is a motivational bond that is one key part of a personality pattern woven with all the intricacies of creation and exhibited uniquely by every Four that ever was, is, or shall be."
This motivation stems from an internal reality:
"...a need to be perceived, and to perceive oneself, as unique, out-of-the-ordinary, special; and a penchant for inner-escape when the external reality is not satisfying Four's emotional and physical needs."
"The Four feels a sense of isolation -- an aloneness stemming from the certainty that `I am different from everyone else an no one could possibly be understand me or the depths of my emotional feelings.'"
"The focus of the heart is `the other,' and the need to be loved and attended to by the other is a predominant motivation."
"They are envious of others' relationships and material possessions. They yearn for the lost moments of past possibilities, and crave the authentic love response that seems to elude them in the ordinariness of everyday life."
Richard Rohr describes the Enneagram Four dilemma:
"The specific defense mechanism of FOURs is artificial sublimation. Feelings are not expressed directly, but indirectly through symbols, rituals, and dramatic styling. This is supposed to alleviate the pain of real grief and the fear of rejection. The unredeemed FOUR is convinced that `anyone who would see me directly the way I am couldn't bear the sight.'" "The root sin is envy. They see immediately who has more style, more class, more taste, more talent, more unusual ideas, more genius than they do. They see who is simpler, more natural, more normal and `healthier' than they are."
Enneagram Four-ness is a syndrome that features loneliness, life as tragedy, hate, excessive intensity, too much, too little, and sweet sadness. I asked an accomplished professional woman about these phrases. She, a self-identified Enneagram Four responded as follows:
About loneliness:
"A feeling of a huge empty chasm. Isolated in huge, huge empty space. In the universe alone. It's a devastating feeling."
About life as tragedy:
"Hearing this almost sounds morbid. Life is more like a challenge. I want to experience a variety of experience. High life. Low life. To have a bit more. Life has ups and downs or tragedies or painful times, deaths or separations. Part of what I consider life. It's boring without all that."
About hate:
"I think that happens. My prejudices are sometimes unreasonable. I take on a cause and the intensity is unreasonable. If something happens to me in relationship I close people out: `you're out of my life!'. Hate burns up too much of me. Cinders inside like energy. It's not hate so much as envy. I would like to say I don't hate. Actually, envy has motivated me. It has kept me going in career and everything."
About excessive intensity:
"I see them as two separate things, and together. Excessiveness means I do or don't, it's all or nothing. I tunnel vision into things. A lot of intensity until I work it out. When teaching I have intensity and the excessive part I have to kick back on more. When I'm laid back, for others it still may be intense. The ideas in my head are intense, they can take over, until worked through -- then it's over."
About too much, too little:
"I do or I don't, either I want to feel or not. I either want the whole candy bar or nothing. If you are going to tell me something don't play games, either tell me whole thing or don't tell me. If you are playing games with me, I become extreme with either-or thinking."
About sweet sadness:
"I can easily go into it. Oh, it's great! My image is of a most beautiful chocolate sunday. Without some of that there haven't been any highs. Sweet sadness is the digestion part, the processing part. I need separation and space for it. It's wonderful, with intensity, it is wonderful. I can burn out if I stay too long, then I disconnect."
I think it is important that we get a clear and simple view of the underlying dynamic structure of Enneagram Four, that we can see clearly and is stripped of excess elaboration. Then we turn our attention to how that dynamic plays out in different circumstances or for different uses and intentions. How does Enneagram Four learn to be less caught in the trap and wear the clothing of Four more loosely through life? How does Enneagram Four learn to relate to others as they are, not how the internal program paints them? How does Enneagram Four learn to connect with lost essence, to make a union with the spiritual? How does Enneagram Four gain flexibility to lead creatively and to reshape our institutions to emphasize values and style? These are productive avenues to explore to enrich our abilities and knowledge, rolling back as it were the frontier of knowledge of human nature.
This, of course, is true for all types.
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