Motivators admire success, and want others to admire their successes. Threes are often impressive people with impressive credentials, accomplishments, and personal contacts. They are adaptable people who recognize that success means different things in different cultures, and are able to win the admiration of varied groups of people. They are often sought out by organizations as spokespersons who can make a dynamite impression on an audience.

Because they embody what others admire, they are naturally able to motivate others who see in them qualities they would like to have themselves. Extroverted threes are charming and smooth talking - popular people who use their networking skills to augment their image and their career, which are often closely linked. Introverted threes still like to strut their stuff, but are more likely to promote themselves through competence and skillful performance than through showmanship. Unhealthy threes are notorious for seeming entirely in love with themselves, endlessly talking about their wonderful accomplishments and supposed contacts with famous people, some of which may well be fabricated.

Famous motivators: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jimmy Carter, Brooke Shields, Tom Cruise, Andy Warhol, O.J. Simpson.

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People who measure themselves by external achievement and the roles that they play. May be truthful, accomplished and sincere or conniving, competitive and false.


Unlike Twos, people with the Three style identify less with ideals of helpfulness and instead with images of success and productivity. Threes often expect to be loved for what they do rather than who they are. Their image-confusion is between seeming accomplished and being true to their less-than-perfect inner self. Entranced Threes most tend to cut off deeper feeling in favor of outer appearance. They deny their imperfections and present a public image they hope the world finds laudable.

Healthy Threes are often highly accomplished and practice a credo of excellence and professionalism in whatever they do. They are extremely strong at setting and meeting goals and will usually have mastered a number of life skills. Threes learn fast, make good leaders, and do well in high-profile, socially established occupations where performance is measured by results. Most are organized, flexible and industrious. When healthy, they usually make excellent role models and teachers of the skills they have mastered.

Awakened Threes can be energetic and cheerful, with a positive eye to the future and a self-confident, open approach to challenges. Their actions are often governed by a sense of honor; family and friendship are valued in addition to work. These priorities are sometimes arrived at after a struggle with moral expediency and through a Three's conscious search for values.

When Threes are more entranced, the strategy of being successful and well-rounded yields to a desire to seem that way. Corners start getting cut in the quest to maintain an image. A Three can slip into impersonation and play a role of themselves, adopting chameleon-like poses to seem noteworthy in many different contexts. Personal feeling begins to be denied as a Three increasingly identifies with their mask. Most have an "Achilles Heel," a sense of inadequacy that they compensate for with achievement and role-playing.

Intimate relationships can suffer as the Three reroutes their feelings through their image of who they should be. They may present a persona to intimates; hiding a deep sense of flaw and instead offering a feelingful mask for others to love. Expediency and efficiency become more important and an entranced Three may begin to enjoy the feeling of nonfeeling. They may think of themselves as high-performance engines whose purpose is to race with speed from task to task, securing outcomes before dashing on to new finish lines. It's not uncommon for entranced Threes to talk in sports metaphors and make themselves believe that life is only a game, a game that's played to win.

To win, they may push themselves harder, enjoying the hyperactivity, now using their relationships mainly as springboards for professional gain. Their once healthy flexibility might degenerate into arrogant calculation and amoral strategizing. Entranced Threes comfortably operate in occupations where appearance and persuasion are all -- public relations, sales, advertising, etc.

When deeply entranced, winning becomes everything and a Three's mask just eclipses their soul. They sell out completely to seeming and make themselves into a commodity to market. A core of malicious hostility replaces their true identity at this stage.

Unhealthy Threes can be amoral, Machiavellian, heartless, slick, and plagiarizing. They believe their own lies and con people without conscience. They work hard to best or deceive others. The aim is to maintain an illusion of superiority from which they derive a hollow, vindictive sense of triumph. Anyone who has ever been deliberately and maliciously lied to has felt the sting of this attitude.


FAMOUS THREES

The cultural aura of America, Politician James Baker, Joseph Biden, David Bowie, Ron Brown, Jimmy Carter, Dick Clark, Lawyer Johnnie Cochran Jr., Magician David Copperfield, Cindy Crawford, Joan Crawford, Tom Cruise, Rebecca DeMornay, Nora Ephron, Werner Erhard, (Mrs.) Debbi Fields, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Richard Gere, Bryant Gumbel, Actor Mark Harmon, the (modern) cultural aura of Japan, Michael Jordan, Mary Kay, Henry Kissinger, Carl Lewis, Vince Lombardi, Rob Lowe, Joan Lunden, Ali MacGraw, Elle MacPherson, Reba McEntire,
Demi Moore, Oliver North, U.S. Senator Bob Packwood, Master spy Kim Philby, Elvis Presley, Reporter/author Sally Quinn, Businessman Summer Redstone, Burt Reynolds, Author Anthony Robbins, Political strategist Ed Rollins, Diana Ross, Jessica Savitch, Diane Sawyer, Arnold Schwarzenegger, William Shatner, Cybill Shepherd, O.J. Simpson, Will Smith, Wesley Snipes, Sylvester Stallone, Sharon Stone, Kathleen Turner, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Former Austrian President Kurt Waldheim, "Father" of America George Washington, Raquel Welch, Author Marianne Williamson, Vanessa Williams, Oprah Winfrey, Natalie Wood.

Three With a 2 Wing
Threes with this wing are often highly gregarious. They have a tendency towards persona - playing a role of themselves in real life. Social perception, prestige and recognition important. Healthy side brings personal warmth, leadership qualities. Sincere desire to do well by others; may be genuinely nice people. If they have achieved some measure of success they are generous in their mentorship of others.

When more entranced, they are preoccupied with seeming ideal to others. This can extend to friendships, family, as well as at work. Want to seem a perfect spouse, friend, parent, employee, good son or daughter. Strong social focus because they need so much validation from others.

Preening and boastful behavior possible. Bursts of egotism. Wanting to be on top, better than others. Slip into impersonation easily, may falsify feeling and not know it themselves.al nutrition. Deep emotional recognition is Malicious intentional deceit possible. Behavior of con-artists and sociopaths.

Real-Life Threes With a 2 Wing: Ron Brown, Dick Clark, Cindy Crawford, Joan Crawford, Tom Cruise, (Mrs.) Debbi Fields, Vince Lombardi, Joan Lunden, Ali MacGraw, Reba McEntire, Demi Moore, Oliver North, Elvis Presley, Burt Reynolds, Anthony Robbins, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Cybill Shepherd, O.J. Simpson, Will Smith, Sharon Stone, Kathleen Turner, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Marianne Williamson, Oprah Winfrey, Natalie Wood.

Movie Threes With a 2 Wing: Annette Bening, The Grifters; Tom Cruise, Rain Man; Jamie Lee Curtis, A Fish Called Wanda; Richard Gere, American Gigolo, Sommersby; Tony Goldwyn, Ghost; Jack Lemmon, Glengarry Glen Ross; Arnold Schwarzenegger, Pumping Iron; Cybill Shepherd, The Last Picture Show, Texasville; Sharon Stone, Basic Instinct; Kathleen Turner, Body Heat.

Three With a 4 Wing
May be slightly less image-conscious or project an image that is more implicit and subtle. 4 wing brings a degree of introversion. May measure themselves more by their creations, artistic or social. Tend to compete with themselves first more than with other people.

High side brings the motivation and ability to work on oneself. May accomplish everything they set out to do materially, then embark on a path of self-analysis. Artistic explorations or teaching possible. Will still like a challenge, but thoughtful, intuitive or humanistic concerns of prime interest.

The low side of this wing can bring a haunted, self-tormented quality or a haughty, competitive pretentiousness. Might be snobs or accuse critics of being too plebian to appreciate them. Cool, hard shell. In private, can lapse into Fourish self-questioning and melodrama. Instability and moodiness can be factors. Unrealistic grandiosity.

Real-Life Threes With a 4 Wing: James Baker, Joseph Biden, David Bowie, Johnnie Cochran, David Copperfield, Rebecca DeMornay, Nora Ephron, Werner Erhard, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Phil Gramm, Bryant Gumbel, Michael Jordan, Ed Rollins, Diane Sawyer, William Shatner, Wesley Snipes, Sylvester Stallone, George Washington.

Movie Threes With a 4 Wing: John Cusack, The Grifters; Charles Dance, Pascali's Island; Jeremy Irons, Betrayal; John Malkovich, Dangerous Liaisons, In The Line Of Fire; Robert Morse, Tru; William Shatner, Star Trek V - The Final Frontier; Sting, Bring On The Night; Christopher Walken, At Close Range, The Comfort Of Strangers.


CONNECTING POINTS (Stress and Security)

Three's Connection to 9
Three's connection to 9 brings a capacity for self-reflection and a partial slow-down of tempo. A Three may become more receptive to the people in their lives and appreciate "idle" time, especially when it's spent with family and friends.

The modest, unpretentious quality of 9 is inherent, if latent, in Threes. Connection helps them come out of roles and relax into being. Winning can become less all-important. Success is sometimes seen through as an illusion. Take time out from the world's races. New projects might be entered into because they look interesting, or will benefit others, or for intuitive reasons that can't be explained.

More entranced, a Three might go through periods of 9-like confusion. Could start racing around, going in circles at high speed. Lose sight of their goals. The 9 tendency towards emotional numbness reinforces emotional absence. Three's unhealthy habit of altering themselves for an environment can also get worse.

May flip from hyperactivity to paralysis. Sink into a nihilistic "What's the use?" attitude and a numb, 9-like apathy. Lacking motivation and direction they can go passively depressed and use drugs or alcohol to further deaden their feelings.

Movie Threes who demonstrate this connection: Tom Cruise, Rain Man; Jamie Lee Curtis, A Fish Called Wanda; John Cusack, The Grifters; Jack Lemmon, Glengarry Glen Ross, Save The Tiger; Roger Moore, Bed And Breakfast; Robert Morse, Tru; Cybill Shepherd, Texasville.


Three's Connection to 6
Healthy connection to 6 helps Threes drop masks, admit flaws, be seen for who they are. Their true emotions generally have a fearful cast; fear is a door to authentic feeling. Honest vulnerability. Make and keep commitments to ideals beyond winning and succeeding. Develop personal loyalties to family and friends as well as to spirituality. Ethical concerns become far more important, moral courage emerges. They stay faithful and keep their agreements, even at the risk of losing.

Unhealthy connection brings runaway anxiety that fuels the Three's desire to cut off or mask feeling. Fear motivates hyperactivity as the Three runs away from the "awful truth" about themselves. May go nervously ambivalent about relationships, unable to decide or commit.

Threes also overidentify with hierarchies and traditions like a 6 can do. May give their power away to authority figures. Play "good child" roles that get them approval within the dependency. Could become overly cautious. Stay within the confines of tradition or excel within its terms as a way to stay safe.

Movie Threes who demonstrate this connection: Tom Cruise, Rain Man; Richard Gere, Sommersby; Tony Goldwyn, Ghost; Jack Lemmon, Glengarry Glen Ross; John Malkovich, Dangerous Liaisons; Charlie Sheen, Wall Street; Wesley Snipes, White Men Can't Jump.


SUBTYPE THEMES

Self-Preservation
Have a preoccupation with acquiring material security as a way to calm core anxieties about survival. Some grow up poor and focus on amassing wealth. Concentrate on doing well, having enough, especially of the right things. Irony is that the strategy doesn't really work - a Three could amass millions and still, say, harbor a morbid fear of dying broke. Insecurity fuels a sense that enough money is never enough.

Movie examples include Wesley Snipes in White Men Can't Jump, Rebecca DeMornay in Risky Business and Charlie Sheen in Wall Street.

Intimate
Intimate Threes mask themselves with an image of what a sexually appealing man or woman is. They play roles in romantic relationships hoping to get love or admiration. Image is based on community or cultural standards of desirability or a given partner's expectations. If not committed to a specific partner then they will project an image generally and seek sexual conquests.

Intimate Threes in the movies can be sexual imposters or suave, attractive ideals of masculinity or femininity. Female characters tend to be beautiful out-of-reach Sirens. Examples include: John Malkovich, Dangerous Liaisons; Cybill Shepherd, Texasville; Richard Gere, American Gigolo, Sommersby; Sharon Stone, Basic Instinct; Kathleen Turner, Body Heat.

Social
Social Threes are often extremely status-conscious. Most confuse their inner self with the world's badges, honors and totems. Measure themselves by money, position, awards or results. Strive to match group standards and have the right credentials. How they rank in the eyes of others is most important. May be materialistic but with an eye towards the best brand names so as to be identified with the product's status.

The excesses of this subtype make for fine morality plays about the hollowness of fame and status. Movie examples include: Charlie Sheen, Wall Street; Robert Redford, Downhill Racer; Mary Tyler Moore, Ordinary People; Faye Dunaway, Network.

QUOTES :

"Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some hire public relations officers." - Daniel Boorstin

"Pretending is a virtue. If you can't pretend, you can't be king." - Luigi Pirandello

"Lies are essential to humanity." - Marcel Proust

"Ah, but a man's reach should exceed his grasp,
Or what's a heaven for?" - Robert Browning

"He that listens after what people say of him shall never have peace." - Thomas Fuller

"Success has ruined many a man." - Benjamin Franklin

"Failure is the foundation of success, and the means by which it is acheived. Success is the lurking-place of failure; but who can tell when the turning point will come?" - Lao-Tse

"Charm is a way of getting the answer yes without having asked any clear question." - Albert Camus

"When a man is trying to sell you something, don't imagine he is that polite all the time." - Edgar Watson Howe

"No man, for any considerable period, can wear one face to himself, and another to the multitude, without finally getting bewildered as to which may be the true." - Nathaniel Hawthorne

"(A ruler) cannot and should not keep his word when to do so would go against his interests or when the reason he pledged it no longer holds." - Machiavelli

"One often passes from love to ambition but rarely returns from ambition to love." - La Rochefoucauld

"Our business in this world is not to succeed, but to continue to fail, in good spirits." - Robert Louis Stevenson

Tom's site : http://www.thechangeworks.com/

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for Barbara Granger--Type Three

Note to the Reader: What follows is a composite development plan created for a typical Type Three executive. While "Barbara" is unique in many ways she also clearly illustrates how some Three dynamics play out in the workplace. As you read through this plan, begin to formulate what you would suggest as developmental actions for Barbara (and for Threes in general). Then compare your ideas against her actual development work.


I. ENNEAGRAM LEADERSHIP STYLE

Type Threes are also called Achievers or Performers. This style of leadership is described by Robert Kaplan in Beyond Ambition as the "striver-builder," one of three "expansive executive" personalities found in top leadership positions. In my work with leaders I refer to fully developed achievers as Stars, because they are frequently model persons in whatever sphere of activity they enter. Their key motivation is to distinguish themselves, and leadership is a natural and integral part of their drive toward success. According to Kaplan, "This type specializes in building up organizations (in order to gain) high regard from the world. Their parents expected a great deal of them, and they internalized those high expectations."

There is also a quality of "looking good" in this leadership style. The plus side of this quality is a supreme focus on results. When not sufficiently introspective, however, one can be a bit too driven by this desire. This same quality generates competitiveness, which is certainly positive when employed toward excellence. However, competitiveness can also manifest as a tendency to condescend to others -- judging their efforts as lacking in comparison to one's own -- or in pursuing results with apparent disregard for others' input.

Type Three leaders are typically not very introspective, and the most important aspect of their development is interior and personal, noticing and transforming their basic attitude that results are paramount -- their outward behavior changes as a consequence of this inner work. Without this work, Threes can be ambitious, competitive, image-conscious, and self-promoting. With development, Threes are more inner-directed and will be seen by others as poised, self-assured, energetic, adaptable, and collaborative.

As summarized by Kaplan, "In the best cases, striver-builders also come to a personal acceptance of their limitations; they learn to get satisfaction out of committing themselves fully to something or someone outside of themselves, and they win people's respect by investing heavily in self-improvement as a way of gaining mastery."

(Drawn from Kaplan's The Expansive Executive and Beyond Ambition, Condon's "Easy in Your Harness" tape series, Palmer's The Enneagram in Love & Work, and Baron & Wagele's The Enneagram Made Easy.)


II. MYERS-BRIGGS TYPE INDICATOR PROFILE

People with your MBTI profile -- ESTJ -- represent about 13% of the population, and are best described as responsible. They are loyal to work and community and make faithful mates and parents. Matter-of-fact, practical, realistic, and concerned with the here-and-now, they are logical, analytical, objectively critical, and not likely to be convinced by anything but reasoning. They have little patience with confusion or inefficiency, assuming that conduct should be ruled by logic. They like immediate, visible, and tangible results.

ESTJs seek leadership directly, take charge quickly, and are quick to decide, but they tend to overlook feeling values -- what they and others care about. They may need to develop the art of appreciation -- giving others the opportunity for input, as well as noticing what they like about others' work (and not merely what needs correcting). ESTJs may not always be willing to listen to opposing views,and would benefit from promoting more harmony and teamwork in their relationships. They may also need to take time to reflect and identify their own feelings and values.

(Drawn from Hirsch & Kummerow's Introduction to Type in Organizations, Keirsey & Bates' Please Understand Me, and Myers' Introduction to Type.)


III. STRENGTHS

As we've discussed, Barbara, the sources of input to your development are positive overall in regard to your leadership capability. They describe you as very bright and "one of the few in the company who does look long term." You have grown in breadth of conceptual view -- in part through greater exposure to the industry -- and you make sure that you stay informed. You have been involved in all areas of the company and usually make the right business decision. You are very knowledgeable about the company; you work toward a long-term vision; and you are seen as congenial, cooperative, and "a good salesperson who really believes in her product."

As a problem-solver you are well-organized and "very deliberate in getting results." You have good analytical skills ("more quantitative and statistical than abstract or intuitive") and your functional expertise is respected by customers as well as by your colleagues. Your planning and implementation skills are excellent: "Once Granger gets a responsibility, it's taken care of -- she's very deliberate in what she does and she gets results."

Interpersonally, you are good at focusing on objectives, clarifying others' viewpoints, and negotiating with logic. You are diplomatic, you don't seem to take things personally, and you can be "the voice of reason" when people take extreme positions. Your style most of the time is to listen and then to make a synthesizing comment. Sometimes you will offer your own viewpoint.

Your personal integrity is "second to none." You are described as having high standards and a strong work ethic. Your self-direction is high: You are gradually gaining contacts -- taking courses, becoming part of civic organizations -- in order to be a more effective leader and business person. Others have noticed your efforts to work with them more effectively. Over the years you have become much more flexible and open to "things outside the numbers" (such as personalities and relationships). You have shown the ability to listen to and take seriously the feedback from your boss -- you are loyal and straightforward and want to learn and grow. Overall your relationships are good and people want to support your continued development.


IV. DEVELOPMENT OPPORTUNITIES

Communication

Your presentation skills are excellent, particularly with customers. However, there is consistent feedback that you are a "very precise and overly detailed communicator." It is a positive attribute that you are thorough and analytical, but you tend to tell people more than they need or want to know. At times it seems you are overly focused on "selling" what you are saying. At others times you tell people what they already know and thus imply that they "know nothing" or "don't have the brains to figure it out" for themselves.


Teamwork

Your team-mates noted that you have tended to seek their input to decisions only where their expertise was required, and they believe you have sometimes worn "rose-colored glasses," making deals that don't match their expectations. You have responded somewhat to their request for more involvement; however, they still sometimes wonder if your decisions will serve the organization in the long term, especially when you take a direction that is different from the one they've advised you to take. Finally, you sometimes get full credit for a deal where they believe they've helped achieve the outcome. This is made worse when you talk about a deal using the pronoun, "I".


Entrepreneurship

You are entrepreneurial at selling your company's current products, Barbara. Since you're being considered as back-up to the CEO, however, others predict that if you ran the company they would not envision you supporting the development of major new products or taking extraordinary risks. Members of the senior management team have noticed that when someone comes up with a new idea, you have a tendency to focus on what the company is already doing well. When you do consider a new idea, you push people for justification vs. exploring the potential payback. "It's almost as if no idea is good enough unless she comes up with it herself," said one of the senior managers.


Management

You like to do a lot yourself, according to others. You delegate fairly well, but the gap between you and your staff, as well as the continued growth of your responsibilities, suggest the need for an assistant. A request was also made that you do more cross-training -- internal customers feel they sometimes have to wait unnecessarily when you are not around.

Members of your staff like and respect you, but they want more responsibility and more delegated accountability, particularly to be able to respond to others in your absence. Their key concerns: (1) You don't always involve them in decisions that affect their work. (2) You sometimes provide more direction than they believe is necessary. (3) You review their work and make "unnecessary" changes, where they believe they meet the desired standards on their own. While you are "very good at pumping people up," you don't always confront them directly and in an ongoing fashion about their individual performance or how they operate as a team. "She just doesn't like any type of conflict," said one person.


Personal

We have talked at some length about the gifts and "dark sides" of your personal style as an Enneagram Three. Many of these aspects show up in the perceptions, both positive and negative, that others hold of you. The highest need for Threes is to become more inner-directed, to develop themselves as persons according to their genuine feelings and within their own realistic limitations. Threes must squarely face their avoidance of failure and the fear that they will be rejected if they are not supremely successful. In addition to the work-related actions outlined below, you need to explore your inner life, shift to more inside attention and valuing of emotion, allowing yourself to be touched emotionally. Notice your desire to be the best in everything, to focus only on results and achievements, and to criticize others who are not similarly focused. As one person said, you need to "sweeten up, become more vulnerable and interdependent."

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Core Value Tendency: THREES are attracted to and value efficiency, industriousness, and competence. They want to be productive persons, seeking to make the world a more efficient place to live in. Bringing projects to completion, accomplishing goals, working effectively is what life is about. The cosmos is an orderly harmonious system and THREES work to keep it running smoothly.

Adaptive Cognitive Schema: Hope is the principle and attitude THREES have to keep them living in the real world. Hope believes the cosmos works effectively within and according to its own laws. It will continue to run smoothly even when THREES are not working. Entropy won't occur the instant THREES take time off. The most effective way to function is in harmony with these natural, personal, and social norms and processes.

Adaptive Emotional Schema: The state that accompanies THREES objective paradigm is truthfulness, the acceptance and expression of their inner self as it actually is without covering, exaggerating, or marketing it with external images, roles, and personas. THREES remain true to themselves and their commitments vs assuming whatever appearance they believe will make them look successful in the eyes of others.

Adaptive Behavioral Schemas: THREES have a natural organizational ability, easily assessing a situation, setting goals, and working efficiently and single mindedly toward them. They know how to get things done. They are optimistic, enthusiastic, and self confident. THREES are motivated and motivating. Being good salespeople, they intuitively know how to present themselves and their product. They can translate ideas into workable saleable systems. They are good team people and effective managers. They are pragmatic and can compromise to get projects on line and accomplished. They have the ability to sense what others want and expect from them and can adapt to fit that image thereby winning people over to their side.

Maladaptive Cognitive Schema: When THREES exaggerate their efficient qualities, they over-identify with the idealized self image of I am successful. To compensate for their maladaptive belief that they are failures and will be rejected, they become over-programmed, overly efficient, and can become workaholics.

Maladaptive Emotional Schema: Perceiving themselves as successful entrepreneurs, THREES believe they are above normal protocols and are not constrained by the laws and conventions that others live by. They deceive themselves and others into believing how successful they are. Their energy goes into their image, their public self, and the persona they think others want them to be. Over identifying with their roles and projects, they convince themselves this is who they really are.

Maladaptive Behavioral Schemas: Perceiving the world as disorganized, and presenting themselves as efficiency experts, THREES become workaholics, falling into Type A behavior, driven to succeed and climb the ladder of status and prestige. It's hard for THREES to stay with their own feelings, desires, and preferences. It's important to them to look good not to feel good. Work takes precedence over self. It's conflictual for THREES to do something unpopular, to espouse values that get unfavorable audience response. They are pragmatists. The end justifies the means. If it works, it's good.

What is Avoided: Since they strive to be successful, THREES avoid failure. They don't undertake projects unless they sense they can complete them. Their motto is: In life there are no failures, only learning experiences.

Defensive Maneuvers: THREES avoid failure by identification with their successful image, role, and projects. They change appearances, careers, interests in a chameleon-like manner to keep up with whatever image is currently popular.

Childhood Development: THREES got approval for their achievements. Their worth derived from what they did instead of from who they were. Performance and image were rewarded in place of personal disclosure and emotional connections with others. Looking good, getting ahead, being successful were emphasized in their family. Being adaptable helped them survive. Assuming the role and persona others wanted them to be increased their recognition, status, and prestige.

Non-Resourceful State: When THREES are under stress, they do more of the same, that is, they become more efficient and organized, work more frenetically, take on more projects, are on the go more, shake more hands, and advertise themselves more. When this doesn't work, they turn off their smooth running machine and stop. Doubting, numbing, neglecting themselves, avoiding responsibilities, and resigning themselves to failure, they go from exertion to exhaustion. They drop out and turn off. In this depressed state, their belief is their efforts don't matter, so what's the difference, why bother.

Resourceful State: When THREES are in a resourceful relaxed state, they get in touch with their inner feelings, preferences, and desires. They are honest and resist changing themselves to manipulate others. They show their true colors. They are loyal to themselves and to their values. They stay with what they believe in vs switching to what is popular. They are also loyal to others. They are trustworthy as well as competent. This combination makes them good leaders. They cooperate with others vs compete with them. They trust that others will get things done in their own way and in their own time. They embrace failure as a natural part of life. This loosens the hold of their image and helps them connect with their true self and with others. Now able to say to themselves I am loyal, I do what I ought to do, they believe they are acceptable as themselves. I am therefore I am active replaces I perform and produce therefore I am O.K.

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